Lean On Me
by Lucicloth
Summary: Percy is going through depression and it shows how he copes and also how he gives in to it.


_***Disclaimer*** I do not own the Percy Jackson series._

 _This takes place post BoO, discussing the part when Percy and Jason were down in Poseidon's old palace, and Percy didn't move the acid away, suggesting that he was suicidal. This is just my take on it._

Percy could feel it again. That constant weight on his chest, it sometimes felt like he couldn't breathe. Even with Annabeth there with him, it was only after a while would his chest finally stopped hurting. He knew what it was from, and was scared of it. He hasn't even told Annabeth about it yet, mostly because he didn't know how. What would he even say to her? _"Annabeth there's a constant weight in my chest because I am depressed and don't really want to live anymore."_ He can't say that. Annabeth is his world and he is hers, what would she do without him? He already knew. It happened once before, and she went ballistic. No, he couldn't tell her yet.

Percy heard a knock and looked up. Annabeth peeked into his room, then walked in when she saw Percy was awake. Technically, the old camp rules were in place, forbidding a boy and a girl camper from being alone in a cabin together, but after all that happened to the two of them, even Chiron "overlooked" that rule for them.

Annabeth sat beside him on his bed, still in her pajamas. Her hair was still messy from being in bed, spiking out in all different directions, and Percy was sure his was too, because Annabeth reached up and fixed his hair.

"Morning," Percy smiled. His depression hit him hard and he was glad Annabeth was here now.

"Morning seaweed brain," Annabeth answered, finally finished fixing his hair, then proceeded to lean on his shoulder and put her right hand on his chest.

"Why don't we just lie here for a while this morning, I'm not ready to really get up."

Annabeth laughed. "You're never ready to get up. Not this morning though, We have plans today."

"We do?"

Annabeth looked amused and her storm grey eyes sparkled at him. "Yes, don't you remember? We are going to see your mom and Paul today."

Percy forgot about that, and immediately felt guilty. _Stupid depression,_ Percy thought. _It's getting in the way of the important things._ "Oh, right. Guess we can't be late for that, can we? Mom would be mad at us."

Annabeth laughed again. "No, she would be mad at you, for thinking that sleep is more important than her."

"Shut up, Annabeth, and go get dressed. You aren't exactly ready to go either."

They both get dressed quickly and met outside Percy's cabin.

"Ready, Annabeth?"

"Uh-huh, that's why I'm standing here," Annabeth smirked and poked him. "Are you ready, seaweed brain?"

"I was born ready. Our ride, however, wasn't apparently. Blackjack's late."

 _Sorry Boss, got distracted by the smell of donuts_ Blackjack responded back to his thoughts. _Get here in ten seconds, and you will get a box of them._ Percy smiled, because he knew Blackjack would do just that.

Eight seconds later, Blackjack was in front of them.

 _Ready for my donuts! Yeah!_

Percy Laughed. "I don't have them right now, we will get them for you on our way back to you. Come on, I want to see mom."

He jumped on, then held Annabeth's hand as she climbed up, and in an instant, blackjack was up, and Annabeth was holding on to his waist.

Not for the first time, he wondered how soon he would hit the ground if he fell off so high in the air.

;

They got to his mom's apartment, and she greeted them both with huge hugs. Annabeth got a hug from Paul as well, while Percy settled with a handshake.

"Come in, you two, lunch is almost ready. How is camp?"

"Camp is great Sally; I think we both really missed it, Percy the most." Annabeth replied.

"Annabeth, you know you can call me mom, you might as well. You and Percy are practically married now."

"Mom!" Percy complained. "We aren't even 20! And you say that!?"

His mom chuckled, while his and Annabeth's faces are most definitely red.

"I think lunch is ready." His mom said, changing the subject. "Paul, can you go set the table and put lunch out?"

As he gets up, Annabeth volunteers to help him and the two of them go into the kitchen.

All of the sudden his mom is very serious. "Percy, what's wrong? I can see it in your eyes."

He doesn't know why, but Percy collapses and starts crying, not even bothering to wipe them away.

In an instant his mom is by his side, sitting down and comforting him.

"I don't know what's wrong, mom. It's like I've lost the will to fight. I don't want to be fearful anymore, but I also don't want to leave camp; Or Annabeth."

"Have you told her about this?"

"No, I don't want her worrying about me any more than she is already. Besides, I want to tell her in my own way, when I know the right words."

They both sat in silence for a minute, tears still dripping down Percy's face.

Paul walks into the room, stating that lunch is served but cuts off mid-sentence when he sees what's going on. "Are you two alright?" He asks, a touch of concern on his face.

"Yeah, we are" Sally replies, then proceeds to look at him, wipe his tears, and then pulls them both up. "Let's go eat."

;

Lunch was awesome; the grilled cheese sandwiches were amazing, and the other snacks were just the right amount.

"Thanks for having us for lunch Sal- I mean, mom." Annabeth tests, blushing only a little bit.

The beautiful woman just smiles. "It was our pleasure having you both. Paul and I love it when you visit. Take care now, you two," she says, looking directly at Percy as she said the last comment.

Percy and Annabeth walk down the street, heading to a donut shop for a box of donuts Percy promised blackjack.

"I can't believe you promised him a whole box!" Annabeth complained, as they walk up to a shop. "He won't be able to fly us home today!"

Percy grinned. "Sure he will. It's not that far to camp."

They get the donuts and leave, walking to the nearest park, where blackjack was waiting, when Percy hears, _Boss, I'm in a little bit of trouble here. They tied me up, I can't fly away._ Percy starts freaking out a little bit and lets Annabeth know what happened. _Who tied you up?_ Percy asked. Nobody messed with his horse. _I dunno, boss, they're some weird lookin' dudes though, along with some dog humans._

Percy and Annabeth start running to the park, they get there, and come to a halt. Telkhines? In Manhattan? And are those some earthborne? Percy thought they would be melted away by now. He drew Riptide, its faint bronze glow giving off the effect he needed. Annabeth pulled out her new dagger.

Percy stepped forward. "Now if any of you have anything to say before we kill you all for tying up my horse, you might as well say it now." Annabeth stepped up beside him.

The Telkhines laughed. "It will make a nice meal" one said. Another commented, "Those two don't look too bad, either." The earthbornes joined in on the laughter.

"Okay," Percy muttered under his breath, looked at Annabeth, and they charged.

Within seconds, half the earthborne and a quarter of the telkhines were dead. They worked as a team, like always, covering each others' blind spots and weak areas, in perfect sync.

Then something went wrong. A brave telkhine broke through and was about to stab Annabeth in the back, when Percy jumped in front.

It wasn't like he hadn't been stabbed before, but this was different. This was a much weirder feeling.

He faintly heard Annabeth scream his name, and then watched as she cut down the rest single-handedly. Percy blacked out a few seconds later.

;

Percy woke in the infirmary, and his shoulder was on fire. _What am I doing here- Oh, right._ He looked down at his right shoulder, where he had been run through, and grimaced. _Just imagine,_ he thought, _just a little bit more to the left, and that telkhine could have ended his pain._ He looked over to his left, and of course, saw Annabeth holding his hand, napping.

One of the nurses saw he was awake.

"How long was I out?" Percy asked.

"About five days," Chiron answered, coming into the room. " I could sense your unwillingness to fight it, child. What is troubling you?"

"I'm tired of all this Chiron, all this fighting and running. I just want to live a normal life without any monsters or training. But most of all, I think I'm depressed. Suicidal if anything, I could have blocked that stab with my sword, but instead I used my body. That wasn't the only time, either. I've wanted to fall off of Blackjack, and before that, in the war, I let Polybotes' acid hit me, instead of redirected it. But I didn't." Percy looked down.

"Does Miss Chase know?" Percy shook his head. "Maybe you should tell her. She cares about you more than the world."

Annabeth started to stir.

"I'll leave you to it then," and like that, Chiron was out the door.

"Annabeth? Are you awake?" Percy asked.

Annabeth looked up, looking mad and scared at the same time.

"Am I awake? AM I AWAKE?! Five days, Percy! You were unconscious for five days! I didn't know when you were going to wake up!" Tears are streaming down her face freely, and she makes no move to wipe them away.

"Maybe, for a while, maybe I didn't want to wake up- ever." Percy said softly.

Annabeth snapped to attention, a new wave of fear passes through her face. "What?"

"I-I'm depressed, I think. I have been for a while. Since Jason and I were down under water and Jason made a promise to one of Poseidon's' daughters, and well- we saw Polybotes there. And I charged him, he changed the water in front of me into acid, and instead of moving it away, I just kept going into it. Then, riding on Blackjack, I wanted to just fall off, when we were really high up. And now this- this stab wound. I could have blocked it with my sword, but I didn't. I just was tired of living in a world mainly about fighting."

Annabeth was crying even harder now, and Percy was having a tough time keeping it together, too.

"Oh, Percy, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Annabeth now clung to his left arm like he was actually leaving.

"It's okay now, Annabeth. I won't be doing any more stunts like this one. That really hurt."

Annabeth laughed softly, which was good.

"I promise, wise girl, I won't try to leave you again. I realize life is way more important than just small things that we have to deal with. Besides, you are worth it." They were both smiling now, and Annabeth was snuggled up next to him on the infirmary bed.

She looked up at Percy one more time and said, "You still drool in your sleep."


End file.
